what a past couple of weeks.

I almost lost the computer thanks to a couple of nasty viruses and malware... had to reformat the whole friggen computer.. yes.. the brandnew computer.. harddrive was almost toast ( KNOCK ON WOOD).. you think it would be warranted? NOPE.. not for viruses.. spent a week at 4-6 hours a day on the phone with a tech from norton who tried to manually remove these things,.. nope they just kept multiplying till they crashed the entire computer... but it still cost me 118 american dollars to norton on my visa and then another 120 at best buy to fix it.. then i got another anti virus program that hopefully will be better and they will catch things before they can lodge into my computer... but a warning to everyone,,., there is apparently some nasty shit out there esp on facebook I was told... you can NOT get rid of anti virus 360 or trojan vundu once you get it.. it will fuck up your computer big time. My computer was doing some crazy shit before it died. Needless to say you wont be seeing me on facebook for awhile lol.. I did go on the other night with russells ps3.. (since you cant get viruses on that)... and I changed all my passwords on that since these are spyware/hacker programs.. and I even went so far as to go into my actual bank and to customer service and reported everything.. and changed everything right down to my security codes and questions.. you never know.. i also reported my security issues to other people and sites (and also cogeco) i deal with online as well and changed all my passcodes.

I personally dont think anyone really gives a shit on facebook anyway.. anyone i usually banter with hasnt even friggen noticed i am MIA.. not one comment has been emailed to me, questioning my absence... and its been well over a week since i have said or posted a thing- and I am on there everyday.. you would think my absence would be NOTICED lol.

I signed Devon up for Baseball for summer yesterday with the special Olympics. The man I talked to was awesome. we ended up talking for almost 2 hours. He has 2 sons with fragile x ( This is the genetic disorder that they will be testing devon for- so how ironic is this?) so we hit it off right away and obviously had a lot in common... although his kids are in their 20's. hes been basically down the same road we have... same crappy system.. they go through Hamilton now.
I am looking forward to devon ( and US!) having a comfortable outlet where he can be himself.. have fun and be involved in something.

Russell's starting to show signs again of mania.. its starting to scare me. hes UP UP UP. getting aggitated easily.. sooo hyper.. not sleeping well.. eating more again.. starting to act weird again and really silly.. we go wednesday to Toronto.. i am scared to screw around with his meds.. but i think he needs something else or an increase.. and if i have dr shapir change things basically we are saying goodbye now to dr santher for good then... i am scared. His iprc meeting did NOT go well.. i am terrified for him for highschool.. hes functioning at a grade 6 level in all classes and he will be in a grade nine applied level come september.. NO modifed at all.. they are pushing stamford.. which is scary.. its the equivelant to kernahan... if he goes there i might as well send him to the wolves.. I am sick of meeting with teachers and board members who just sit there and fake smile at you and you KNOW they dont give a flying fuck either...even if he was at a grade 7 level right now.. but 6?? how is he going to pass anything? what am I setting him up for? and if his mood changes again and he starts to regress what then? I am biting my nails...

He goes in for his surgery thursday. so wednesday - Toronto.. thursday, surgery at 7 AM!!! then friday march break starts,.. I will have a nervous breakdown by saturday... both kids home.. me alone with the kids,.. russell whining in pain and an obvious shift in mood..same with devon... i will need vallium ;)

This weather is horrible.. my legs back and all joints are killing me.. the damp is bad. I want to crawl into bed.

anyway... thats it for now..

wish me luck this week