my week feb- 20th 2009

another saturday ho hum

Devon woke me up at 7am because he desperately needed to find the lego stormtroopers he slept with. After HE finally found them i made coffee and stumbled into the games room only to find that russell and robbie had stolen the modem once again to play ps3 in russells bedroom late last night... and left me an inapproriate obscene picture that says to SUE from your SON on it... hmmm time for a lecture when they got up.

Its been a long week. when IS it not a long week? dean came home late tuesday afternoon, very very tired. We had dinner and watched a movie with the kids and went to bed. Wed. he took russell to Toronto.. he came home around 230.. he had stopped at the seaway mall and picked me up one of the really nice candles i liked and an oil diffuser... then we had dinner... played wii for a bit, watched tv went to bed lol.-

oh yeah his sister from montreal called- she wants to have a big 60th anniversary party for deans parents in may. I am sitting there listening thinking ,... hmm BAD BAD idea... they will HATE it.. they HATE "hoopla" they will refuse to let us pay for dinner.. there will be a huge fight... dean will have to take his vacation he usually takes in the summer THAT weekend... and i will spend the entire time pretending our family is normal... angela has never even MET devon and hasnt seen russell since dean and i got married- so he was 5. so what do we do- hey ang! nice to see you! this is your nephew you have never seen before! this is his list of diagnosis's and those of russells too? you cant NOT say anything.. its pretty obvious.. esp. if you plan on spending a whole WEEKEND being around us.. and dean goes an invites them to STAY HERE TOO- hahaha i said um no...ironically when we went to see deans parents yesterday we found out deans mum wants to take hans away on a surprise trip that weekend lol.so much for THAT idea!!

I wish deans family would COMMUNICATE. even when i was trying to suggest alternative anniversary plans he took it as a personal attack and started getting hostile... i said look i am not the enemy here.. i am only trying to help. noone says anything.. he talks to ang once maybe twice a year and he hasnt talked to delia in YEARS AND YEARS. hasnt seen her in 8. Its doesnt help everyone lives so far apart or that they are sooo MANY YEARS in age apart. noone is close. noone shares ANYTHING.. unlike My FAMILY lol... gees my mother knows everything that goes on in my life..i said to mrs bilski yesterday that devon had autism, she said i dont know what that is, and in a voice meaning she had noone intention of finding out nor did she really care.- i can see why dean doesnt bother.. but he gets so defensive when you say anything derogitory against his parents either.. always defending them... thats their WAY... whatever, ... theres is no excuse for their behaviour.. for their coldness.... I know dean feels the same way. he hates it too.. what they say, how they act.. hes mortified. but they are also his parents.. and GOD only knows how they treated him as a child... you have to OBEY us.. we are your parents.. he was prob. terrified of them... mr bilski terrifies ME even in his 80s. he has this look about him.. its feral and crazy. whatever he was subjected to when he was a child in wartime has made him mental.I have tried desperately to piece the puzzle based on stories hes told us ... I am pretty convinced their family were jews forced to alter their entire lives.. and i am pretty sure he lost his older sister in a camp. My compassion wants to love them.. my love for GOD wants me to help them and love them... but its difficult to even think of them without hostility and for that i feel terrible guilt. I asked dean if he would be shocked if he found out if we were of jewish blood once the genetics testing was done... he said no. but even if he had papers to prove we were genetically linked to "sons of Arron' Mr bilski wouldnt believe it.. then he said ... but he might have known right along though right? as far as my side.. it wouldnt shock me in the least... and it wouldnt shock anyone whos def. met my mother ... lol maybe thats why the bilskis have had it in for me for the past 20 years.... they could sniff it in me lol... they had " jewdar" lol they have always refused to call my mother MIRIAM... always referred to her as MARIAN hahaha and blamed me for everything the jews did to them... cuz the "jews did it to themselves... they were greedy"... I really dont think mr bilski goes around spewing his anger about jews to just anyone.. just me... why? I have always told him what a good anglican i was... hmmm see they thought MY family was jewish from day one.. and never took no for an answer. they once told me deanie should never ever have married "outside of his race"... i said what... HUMAN? lol i didnt get it then... i assumed they meant german... which i thought was soo stupid... all of their daughters married french or other nationalities,... and in fact our family was from austria on my mothers side.. so... how close can you get what dear ole Hitler was in fact from Austria? NOW i get it.. they think I am a jew! ;)

ok enough rambling about the Bilskis.. its giving me heartburn and yes i did have dried out cake and maccroons on the menu yesterday :)

we went to the speghetti dinner thursday night at the port robinson community centre. it was surprisingly good. not over cooked- the sauce was acidic.. but palatable but not bad- at least homemade. I felt bad for the volenteers that they had.. 1/2 of them didnt show up.. so they were really backed up and slow.. my mother of course game them MY phone #... told them I was a chef and voleteered me for any future endevours... ( rolling my eyes) not that i wouldnt have.. its of course the miriam way she did it- loudly and like rip torn meets ethel merman or something like that.. :p

ttfn
Su